Marriage

is a relationship that takes working together, like a three legged race. I'll explain later. Funny but when you first meet and fall in love with someone, do you ask them what their values are? Not many of us do, but I learned recently that is one of the topics couples should talk about before they are wed.

Once you understand that your core values are very similar, the rest should be easy peasy right? Well a marriage isn't a static relationship, because  you and I are not static beings. We grow, change, evolve, so why wouldn't our marriage relationship. It does, but when change occurs it takes a whole bunch of open honest communication to keep couples from moving in the wrong directions. Once you are married and figure out values are the same, the chances are you are right for each other as long as there isn't abuse or an addiction in the relationship.

I've been married for 14 years this August to a wonderful supportive, loving man, but our relationship has had ups and downs. Recently the downs were greater than the ups, added with house renovations my husband and I needed a time out! Sounds funny, but we were at such an impasse with the direction our lives were taking, our communication or lack there of, our connecting to each other, period.

We decided to see a marriage counsellor and boy it was the best thing we ever did. Sometimes it just takes a third party to help break down the wall we create and help us relearn how to connect and communicate. The marriage counsellor, reading many relationship articles and the knowing that our values were very similar has brought us back to a loving, communicative, supportive marriage. We have a deep love and respect for each other. We know we both still have some work to do so we can become the happily ever after couple we want to be, but we are willing to do the work.

Some of what we learned was:(1) be open and honest with your communication (2) ask don't demand from the other person (3) reflect on why a certain emotion has surfaced when your spouse says                      something (4) know you can't change your spouse, you can only change yourself (5) its okay to be an individual with your own goals,  needs, wants as long as you communicate that your spouse (6) Live life to the fullest with your spouse (7) don't be afraid to ask for third party help- if more couples did- divorce lawyers wouldn't be soooo busy.

Think about your marriage as a 3 legged race. Your inner leg is tied to your spouses inner leg and your outer legs are free to move as they please, swinging outward, stepping back, high knees etc- your individuality. Your inner legs are a bit more in sync- heading straight ahead. However if one spouse has a stronger pull to one side all legs must move in that direction or you fall down. Falling down is okay and sometimes needed, but remember with good, open communication you and your spouse can get back up, support each other and move ahead. 

Its not about the end of the race its about being passionate, travelling, sharing, learning, the journey you take to get wherever you are going!!!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201112/are-you-the-right-mate

Friendships

Truly are a blessing. and if they are true friends they don't judge you and you don't judge them. I may ask the tough questions, I may be curious, but ultimately its their decision.

Friends don't define who I AM with their words and I AM not defined by who I have as friends or their actions. I AM grateful for my friends and do appreciate all they bring to my life.

Friendships are everlasting, sometimes we don't see a friend as much as we would like, but just sending a quick text, email, message of some sort means so much to a friend. That check in- just to let them know you are thinking about them.

Hang with people who choose to feel positive, good, kind, non judging, love, beauty, inspiring, generous.

Friends!

Qualities Of A Good Friend By J. Johnson, picture courtesy of asta January 19, 201

 A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. 

A person that knows you for who you are exactly, a person that accepts what you have become and never judges you, and allows for you to grow and helps you along the way is a friend that you should keep around for a lifetime. These days it is very hard to find somebody brave enough to let you shine your light to the world, and even more difficult to find someone that will be in your life who's sole purpose is to help you shine your light to the world. A real friend doesn't judge you for your past or for who you are at the moment, but instead encourages you to continue to reach new heights, never get comfortable in plateaus, and wishes the best for you at all times. A real friend is a person who listens, who understands, who encourages, who helps, and who promotes your growth as a person as often as possible.

As I Get Older......

I learn more and more each day, yet it seems like there is still so much more I don't know, I don't understand, I don't get. Thats why each new day is so great because I learn and yet I know there are so many more answers that I will uncover. Exciting isn't it- infinite learning!

Yet its also interesting at least I think it is, that sometimes we just stop learning and become complacent in what we know or think we know and become humdrum, boring and lifeless.

For some of us, me included totally, I saw this happening and realized I wasn't even seeing the beauty in the moment, of each hour of each day. Heck I didn't even wake up until a few years ago! And boy now that I'm awake its like my spidy senses are activated. I am much more aware of everything.

My latest aha moment:
I've learned that being creative means trusting my own purpose and having an attitude of unwavering intent in my daily thoughts and activities. I'm so glad to have learned this as I'm a Pisces and everything I read and everything I've heard is that a Pisces is creative- which I always for some reason associated creativeness with artistic ability. So I learned a new definition for being creative, which I'm very happy about, because this definition I can work toward.

Even though I am much more aware today than yesterday, I am still learning to live in kindness, love, beauty, abundance, be ever-expanding. I'm not attached to what I used to think or be and I'm ready and open for growth!

So even though I'm 49 years old I intend to make the most out of my next 49 years.




.............I will be stronger, I will be smarter, I will be braver...........and I will never go back!

Balance

Wow, its been that long since I wrote. November of 2011???? what have I been doing! I really wanted to get my body into the best shape ever. So I've spent a lot of time working out. Exercising hard at cross fit, on my own, boxing, riding, xcountry skiing, etc. All things physical. It takes a lot of will power, a lot of intention setting to work out that much that hard.  And I feel so much stronger physically and I know it took a lot of mental energy too.

Besides working out, I was trying so hard to get involved in so many things that I let what is truly important to me fall away. I was pushing, struggling, fighting - so hard. Boy it does take a lot of energy and whats left? a negative, not very fun person.  Why was I fighting so hard, for what? Fear of not being accepted, fear of falling behind, fear of not being successful, fear, fear, fear. Fuck fear!

I was starting to let fear have power over me again. Instead of just stopping- sitting quiet, reflecting, I was running. Now when I look back Im sure I looked like the hamster on a treadmill- with more muscle of course and making everything else in my life seem strong and okay because thats the message I was giving off.

I lost the beauty in the moment, I stopped loving myself and forgot about what makes me feel good, aligned with my true self, the soul that guides me. It wasn't until my friend looked at me and said, what are you fighting for? Surrender. Do you see what you are doing to yourself, to others?

Until that moment I truly believe I saw but I didn't know how to get off the track. It was like momentum was carrying me. So with harshness of truth staring at me, I not only saw, but jumped off the track. thank goodness cause I didn't want to be a train wreck.

I realized I was totally off balance. The weight of exercising so hard was throwing my scale way to one side. I stepped back and said shit, I need to reconcile with myself, to rebalance my energy. To get the scale back to zero. I need to do what is right, that which aligns actions with my soul.

When I stop struggling, fighting and let go so much more beauty, love and people show up in my life. Trust. I'm not going to stop working out, but I need to balance what it is that truly makes me happy.

Focusing on my soul needs is not an act of selfishness rather an act of self kindness that only heals and allows for so much more pure loving energy to flow outward.

I am proud of myself, I have accomplished a lot, I am so grateful to be accepted by sooo many friends, I am looking forward to my future. Not sure what all is going to happen but I am going to enjoy each moment of the journey with trust, inner balance, love and a little laughter along the way.

Thank you for reading and lets have an awesome day!

Stay Calm and Carry On

I'm sure you've all heard of the British Navy slogan of staying calm and just carry on with your duties.When someone said that to me a couple of weeks back my first reaction was, that was kinda a silly thing to say, but after some thought it was the perfect thing for me to hear.  Its so amazing to me that really that is all it takes. When a stressful situation arises, all you have to do is breathe deep to keep the mind and body relaxed and the soul will truly reveal the path that we are all looking for.

Of course along the way there are lessons to be learned, patterns to be recognized and continual love to give. I realized that I love myself and the person I have become. I love being healthy, I value exercising, I envision my future. Even though I feel I am off my path I know I will be back on it soon. I just need to reach a little deeper to see the truth.  I am not afraid to do the work needed.

I have layed out steps to create the life I would like to live. See it, action it, live it. Are there fears, anxiety, false beliefs. Yes of course there is, but I know they are there. I won't hide them, I will look at them head on and break them down as soon as I see them.

I can't predict the future for me or anyone else so why live in the future. Live for now! Be spontaneous, question, read, learn, love, experience. You have every second just waiting for you to awaken your mind, body and soul. Don't wait - do it now.

With winter approaching, a lot of people I know start to hibernate. I love winter. I can't wait to skate, cross country ski, snowshoe, walk in the snow on a sunny afternoon.  Go for coffee, meet a friend, workout hard, get a massage, listen, talk, write, create. Be the person you truly are. It is time to awaken and become whole.

As I continue on my path more than ever I feel the pull of energy to awaken my mind, body and soul to be the person I am truly meant to be. I hope you awaken today. Be the person you truly feel you are meant to be.

Listen to How You Feel

Mid October already. My goal was to write a blog at the beginning of each month. Maybe setting goals are just guidelines, maybe meant for adjustment of time depending on "life". I may not have met my goal of October 1, but I'm truly not going to beat myself up over it. Yup I'm 15 days late and thats okay by me. The key for me is that I'm here today writing. Writing about my life, love, what makes me laugh, what makes me cry, what I've learned since the last blog and how I continue to search for my path all the while awakening my body, mind and soul.

I continue to do some deep soul searching, trying to find the answers which are already within to questions, tough questions that I really want to deal with rather than push into my unconscious side of me.
I left my full time job in September (now a .4). I feel happy about that decision. That was awesome, brings a smile to my face thinking about it. I was in a job that I did not like. I knew I could not continue doing full time HR. Too negative, too heavy on my  mind, which meant my body was neglected. The ironic part, I had more time to workout but with the knee still rehabbing and a rotator cuff that just can't seem to heal I chose to quit going to Crossfit. That decision alone made me feel sad. The competitiveness the motivation from others to work hard was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I wanted to become stronger, more lean and most of all work out with WN. I also learned the motivation needs to come from me, within and I know WN and I will bond in another way.

I know that I am choosing not to take the chance of injuring my body. So with the knee doing well I will continue to bike a lot, now indoors for winter and use the cross trainer and rower to get cardio. The weights I continue to lift, just not a lot of over head until that darn shoulder heals. I still practise yoga which I love. The stretching of muscle tissue, the relaxing of the mind the connecting of mind and body is totally outrageously healing. I have been blessed to open my own small space in my house for others to come and practice with me on Friday mornings.

I design an exercise program for a young man once a week and workout with him. Truly this is where I feel so good. Teaching others what Wendy taught me about fitness, conditioning, weight training, healthy eating etc. I went last week to Calgary to take the Personal Training Specialist course through Canfit Pro. Months ago I thought this was a daunting task, not for me, never would I get through it, not smart enough, not capable, all the fears, anxiety etc that we all have when trying something new. I'm constantly reminded of Christine's comment, "how do you know you won't like it', "did you know you liked chocolate before you tried it".  We don't know anything unless we try, unless we learn, unless we are willing to change.

So I've changed. My attitude, my knowledge, my body, my understanding of self, my job, my future. I don't want to stop ever! Life is about constant change, evolving even when we don't think we want to. The cool thing for me is that I feel this is the right path. Everyone I meet, every experience I have is meant to be. There are no coincidences. When I was checking in for my flight leaving Calgary, something inside told me to book row 17 no other seats were booked in that row at that time. When boarding, I had a young couple sit down beside me. Had the best chat with both of them. And I know we were meant to meet and at some point our paths will cross again. I have met soooo many people in the last 6 months, now that I am more open to meeting people, trying new experiences, opening my heart and loving my life.

I continue each and every day to awaken my body, mind and soul. There is so much more I will learn, experience, feel, try. Yes there is still fear, anxiety, doubt etc. but each time I feel a negative I ask why. Why do I feel this way, now. What is happening at this moment to make me feel this way. And then I choose how to deal with that feeling. No one else can choose for me. I am here to create my life, to manifest how I choose to live within this plane of existence. I'll make mistakes, may feel regret for sure, but each moment will awaken me even more, allowing not just for existence but for truly LIVING.

A Glance Back, but Look Forward.

A New Season- is here whether we like it or not and with the cooler temperatures comes more layers of clothing to keep us warm. But inside my body is the heat from a glowing heart, stoked by a summer of change. I worked hard this summer to rid myself of past false beliefs, to look inside myself and to find my true love, passion, who I am, figuring out what is my purpose. Even though I've learned a lot about me, I still have a lot of questions, a lot of learning and a lot of growth to do.

I grew my hair out- I like it better that way
I got a tattoo- I love it and makes me shiver when I think about the pain I felt then and the love it brings me now- totally worth it. (mmm I wonder if theres a 2nd one on the horizon).
I quit working full time at a job I didn't like and work 2 days a week at a job I feel challenged by, inspired by an want to be at- (at the time of writing this it Has only been 2 days-lol ask me in a month time- how I feel).
I started teaching a beginner yoga class in my house (yup created a mini studio for mini classes right in my living room- who needs a living room anyway?)
I work with a young man who has Down's syndrome and his mom at their house teaching yoga to and exercising with- I am so grateful for this opportunity.
I had some head shots taken from a fool around photo shoot with Jim Patrick- the nicest guy with the most beautiful wife ever!
I had my second, 15 minutes of fame- got to be on Girl Talk Radio with Marlo Boux- check it out www.girltalkwithmarlo.com
I worked on opening my heart and throat chakras to the highest and best possible for this time and I truly feel the energy within me flowing more freely.
I reconnected with family, made new connections on Facebook, in my neighbourhood with the wonderful Adrianne Percy- because my gut told me to stop and buy lemonade from 2 kids
I made new relationships at work and by other social media means.
I rode my bike more and loved it more than I thought- I can't wait to get a trainer for it and ride all yr around.

I ended up on crutches for a week and hobbling for several more, which taught me many lessons- way to many to go into here- and I shed a few tears. I realized how important my health and wellbeing is to me and I need to do for me what is best- not do what others tell me or expect me to do. I need to be honest about how I feel at any moment with myself and others.

Like the seasons changing so has my life, I'm excited, scared, nervous, at the same time at peace with the decisions I've made and know which way I'm headed in the future. My path may wander sideways but I know I am moving forward all the same.

Just like the seasons changing in order to bring growth and new life, my life is changing for me to grow and bring new energy into it.  I'm excited about my future, about learning new things, meeting new people, experiencing new activities, eating new foods, creating and connecting- thats living!

Just like with the seasons changing- some things die, some things will never be the same, some people leave, sometimes I may not want to look at and question the negative feelings and emotions- I have to and will in order to keep me connected, balanced and whole.

As I continue on my journey to awaken my mind, body and soul I look back on the last season and smile, feeling grateful for the experiences and for the lessons. I will try and take those lessons forward, continuing on my path with grace and humility.

Thank you to all who listen, speak, share and care and help connect me to the bigger picture!