My Partner, My Soul Mate

I love it when:

you don’t shave 

you whisper sweet shit in my ear. yes I want that

when you surprise me with a single rose on no special occasion

you send a limo for me on date night with a note that says........

you passionately hold me and tell me you love me

you take me for a Winter walk through a park on a Sunday afternoon

you share a good bottle of red wine with me on Friday night in front of the fire and we talk about our passion for life, our goals, our wishes, our future

we exercise together and I see how hard you work your body, not a whimpy, half assed workout but a strong willed workout.

we meet for lunch in a downtown resto neither of us have ever been to.

we go to a movie 

we go to bar and listen to a band

we have dinner parties 

we go to a beach and lay in the sand

we meet friends after work for drinks

we have a favorite lounge we can go to and talk, laugh, share.

we work together to create a home. Not a house but a warm, cozy inviting home

we support each others hobbies.

we have the hottest sex 

we support our community, our city 

we volunteer to help at or participate in events that our friends are involved with

we mountain bike together

we ski together

we make each other dinners- because we want to not because we have to

we make each other laugh

we make each other cry

you play the guitar for me

we give each other a massage because it feels so good

we sit on the hood of the car outside the city and watch the sun set on a warm summer night

you are spontaneous

you are a mans man, take charge kind of guy

you are confident when I am not

we face fears together

we embrace each others individuality

I feel connected to you

Exercise Reverses Aging in Muscle

As I get older I get wiser. One thing I know for sure is that exercise is the key no matter what age I am. It is engrained as part of me and what I do. I hope you understand the importance of exercise too. Here is a great article describing what happens to muscle as we age and how to keep that muscle strong. Exercise Reverses Aging in Muscle


Stay strong and healthy!

PLAY

is not just for kids! I was was reading an article the other day about play and how we forget as we get older that we can exercise because it is fun. Not because we want to loose weight, build muscle or look good in a bikini. A huge number of adults don't exercise because they haven't found a form of movement that they enjoy doing.

When I was at Crossfit Winnipeg the other day I was sooo excited when I saw on the board rope climbs. I hadn't roped climbed in months. With nervous anticipation I swung my right foot around the rope a couple of times, jumped up and grabbed the rope as high above my head as I could. I immediately brought my knees up and my left foot stepped onto the rope that dangled over my right. Again I reached up with my hands and pulled. Before I knew it I scampered up to the 15 ft mark and slowly hand over hand retreated to the ground. EXILLERATING!!! Damn that was so FUN!!! Before the class was over I had scampered up all 3 sizes of rope right to the top of the beam!!! Its the challenge of doing an activity that is fun = PLAY.

Maybe thats why I love getting on my road bike and just heading out on a sunny day, down an endless highway. It reminds me of being a kid jumping on my bike and just riding, no destination, no time line. Just riding for fun = PLAY

When I see ads for a Mud Run, an obstacle course through a bush, or an Adventure Race of mountain biking and canoeing, a High Ropes course(which I've been on and is play to the nth degree!), or other activities that sound challenging and fun, the first thing I think of = PLAY.

When I go to the beach I love to bring a disk or football or some sort of equipment to throw around in the water. Swim and dive and float and plash = PLAY

When my daughter was younger, we would kick a soccer ball around, play badminton, tag, rollerblade, walk, play on the monkey bars at a school ground. So many activities that just keeps our body moving, keeps us feeling good. So whatever age or ability, find something you enjoy, something that is fun something you do just to =PLAY!

In Europe there a number of parks and playgrounds created for adults popping up as governments want older adults to stay healthy by playing.

Playtime for Grandma: Council opens new playground for the over-60s

By NIALL FIRTH

Last updated at 14:05 02 February 2008

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Like most playgrounds, it is filled with smiling faces and laughter.

But these faces have seen more of life than you might expect, and the laughter is a little more mature in tone.

Britain's first playground for the over-60s opens today in Manchester.

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60 going on six: Vivien Backhouse and Peggy Yuill go for a swing in the Older People's Play Area in Dam Head

Instead of slides and roundabouts, it is equipped with machines specially designed to provide gentle exercise for different parts of the body such as hips, legs and torso.

The Massage offers upper body exercise, the Skate trains leg muscles, the Ski works the hips, while the Press tones the stomach and legs.

There are also stations for pull-ups, push-ups and pedalling and, to stretch the mind as well as the body, engravings of quotes from famous philosophers dotted around the park.

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Local resident Joan Fitzgerald stretches her legs in the playground

The playground, based on a German idea, was built by the residents' association in Dam Head Park, Blackley.

It cost £15,000 and was funded by the local housing management company. For many young children, the trip to the park with the grandparents may never be the same again.

While they play in the neighbouring children's playground, they will be able to watch their oldies over the fence having just as much fun as them.

Residents' association chairman Joan FitzGerald said: "When we tested it all the people we took in were over 70 and I have never heard so much laughing. I believe you are never too old to play and this also helps keep you fit."

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Swinging 60s: Thigh training while (left) even the infirm can benefit

Peggy Yuill, 74, one of the test group, said: "It makes you feel 21 again."

Gordon Lishman, director general of Age Concern, said: "A well-designed fitness park could be a great way to encourage older people to exercise and socialise.

"Many older people aren't exercising enough and we are really keen for local authorities to offer a range of accessible and affordable facilities that promote physical activity in later life."

So by yourself or with a buddy, weekday or weekend, get you PLAY on!!!!!!

Marriage

is a relationship that takes working together, like a three legged race. I'll explain later. Funny but when you first meet and fall in love with someone, do you ask them what their values are? Not many of us do, but I learned recently that is one of the topics couples should talk about before they are wed.

Once you understand that your core values are very similar, the rest should be easy peasy right? Well a marriage isn't a static relationship, because  you and I are not static beings. We grow, change, evolve, so why wouldn't our marriage relationship. It does, but when change occurs it takes a whole bunch of open honest communication to keep couples from moving in the wrong directions. Once you are married and figure out values are the same, the chances are you are right for each other as long as there isn't abuse or an addiction in the relationship.

I've been married for 14 years this August to a wonderful supportive, loving man, but our relationship has had ups and downs. Recently the downs were greater than the ups, added with house renovations my husband and I needed a time out! Sounds funny, but we were at such an impasse with the direction our lives were taking, our communication or lack there of, our connecting to each other, period.

We decided to see a marriage counsellor and boy it was the best thing we ever did. Sometimes it just takes a third party to help break down the wall we create and help us relearn how to connect and communicate. The marriage counsellor, reading many relationship articles and the knowing that our values were very similar has brought us back to a loving, communicative, supportive marriage. We have a deep love and respect for each other. We know we both still have some work to do so we can become the happily ever after couple we want to be, but we are willing to do the work.

Some of what we learned was:(1) be open and honest with your communication (2) ask don't demand from the other person (3) reflect on why a certain emotion has surfaced when your spouse says                      something (4) know you can't change your spouse, you can only change yourself (5) its okay to be an individual with your own goals,  needs, wants as long as you communicate that your spouse (6) Live life to the fullest with your spouse (7) don't be afraid to ask for third party help- if more couples did- divorce lawyers wouldn't be soooo busy.

Think about your marriage as a 3 legged race. Your inner leg is tied to your spouses inner leg and your outer legs are free to move as they please, swinging outward, stepping back, high knees etc- your individuality. Your inner legs are a bit more in sync- heading straight ahead. However if one spouse has a stronger pull to one side all legs must move in that direction or you fall down. Falling down is okay and sometimes needed, but remember with good, open communication you and your spouse can get back up, support each other and move ahead. 

Its not about the end of the race its about being passionate, travelling, sharing, learning, the journey you take to get wherever you are going!!!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201112/are-you-the-right-mate

Friendships

Truly are a blessing. and if they are true friends they don't judge you and you don't judge them. I may ask the tough questions, I may be curious, but ultimately its their decision.

Friends don't define who I AM with their words and I AM not defined by who I have as friends or their actions. I AM grateful for my friends and do appreciate all they bring to my life.

Friendships are everlasting, sometimes we don't see a friend as much as we would like, but just sending a quick text, email, message of some sort means so much to a friend. That check in- just to let them know you are thinking about them.

Hang with people who choose to feel positive, good, kind, non judging, love, beauty, inspiring, generous.

Friends!

Qualities Of A Good Friend By J. Johnson, picture courtesy of asta January 19, 201

 A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. 

A person that knows you for who you are exactly, a person that accepts what you have become and never judges you, and allows for you to grow and helps you along the way is a friend that you should keep around for a lifetime. These days it is very hard to find somebody brave enough to let you shine your light to the world, and even more difficult to find someone that will be in your life who's sole purpose is to help you shine your light to the world. A real friend doesn't judge you for your past or for who you are at the moment, but instead encourages you to continue to reach new heights, never get comfortable in plateaus, and wishes the best for you at all times. A real friend is a person who listens, who understands, who encourages, who helps, and who promotes your growth as a person as often as possible.

As I Get Older......

I learn more and more each day, yet it seems like there is still so much more I don't know, I don't understand, I don't get. Thats why each new day is so great because I learn and yet I know there are so many more answers that I will uncover. Exciting isn't it- infinite learning!

Yet its also interesting at least I think it is, that sometimes we just stop learning and become complacent in what we know or think we know and become humdrum, boring and lifeless.

For some of us, me included totally, I saw this happening and realized I wasn't even seeing the beauty in the moment, of each hour of each day. Heck I didn't even wake up until a few years ago! And boy now that I'm awake its like my spidy senses are activated. I am much more aware of everything.

My latest aha moment:
I've learned that being creative means trusting my own purpose and having an attitude of unwavering intent in my daily thoughts and activities. I'm so glad to have learned this as I'm a Pisces and everything I read and everything I've heard is that a Pisces is creative- which I always for some reason associated creativeness with artistic ability. So I learned a new definition for being creative, which I'm very happy about, because this definition I can work toward.

Even though I am much more aware today than yesterday, I am still learning to live in kindness, love, beauty, abundance, be ever-expanding. I'm not attached to what I used to think or be and I'm ready and open for growth!

So even though I'm 49 years old I intend to make the most out of my next 49 years.




.............I will be stronger, I will be smarter, I will be braver...........and I will never go back!

Balance

Wow, its been that long since I wrote. November of 2011???? what have I been doing! I really wanted to get my body into the best shape ever. So I've spent a lot of time working out. Exercising hard at cross fit, on my own, boxing, riding, xcountry skiing, etc. All things physical. It takes a lot of will power, a lot of intention setting to work out that much that hard.  And I feel so much stronger physically and I know it took a lot of mental energy too.

Besides working out, I was trying so hard to get involved in so many things that I let what is truly important to me fall away. I was pushing, struggling, fighting - so hard. Boy it does take a lot of energy and whats left? a negative, not very fun person.  Why was I fighting so hard, for what? Fear of not being accepted, fear of falling behind, fear of not being successful, fear, fear, fear. Fuck fear!

I was starting to let fear have power over me again. Instead of just stopping- sitting quiet, reflecting, I was running. Now when I look back Im sure I looked like the hamster on a treadmill- with more muscle of course and making everything else in my life seem strong and okay because thats the message I was giving off.

I lost the beauty in the moment, I stopped loving myself and forgot about what makes me feel good, aligned with my true self, the soul that guides me. It wasn't until my friend looked at me and said, what are you fighting for? Surrender. Do you see what you are doing to yourself, to others?

Until that moment I truly believe I saw but I didn't know how to get off the track. It was like momentum was carrying me. So with harshness of truth staring at me, I not only saw, but jumped off the track. thank goodness cause I didn't want to be a train wreck.

I realized I was totally off balance. The weight of exercising so hard was throwing my scale way to one side. I stepped back and said shit, I need to reconcile with myself, to rebalance my energy. To get the scale back to zero. I need to do what is right, that which aligns actions with my soul.

When I stop struggling, fighting and let go so much more beauty, love and people show up in my life. Trust. I'm not going to stop working out, but I need to balance what it is that truly makes me happy.

Focusing on my soul needs is not an act of selfishness rather an act of self kindness that only heals and allows for so much more pure loving energy to flow outward.

I am proud of myself, I have accomplished a lot, I am so grateful to be accepted by sooo many friends, I am looking forward to my future. Not sure what all is going to happen but I am going to enjoy each moment of the journey with trust, inner balance, love and a little laughter along the way.

Thank you for reading and lets have an awesome day!