Live, Laugh, Love

and listen and feel and talk and see and be and do and smell etc etc etc. Sometimes it just seems like there is too much for me to be aware of. I try to live in the moment, try to be present and focused from minute to minute. 

Try it, take typing a blog for instance. I’m sitting in an office chair which feels to low, so I readjust. Feet firmly on floor, shoulders rolled back and down, head down, chin in, tummy tight. Whew I haven’t even gotten to my arm height, keyboard ergonomics etc.

Then to focus on the words, uh don’t let your shoulders sag, have you eaten recently, where is my glass of water, I also hydrate while I write, have no idea why, guess cause its in the morning and sipping on a smokey port at this time may not be a healthy option.

Shit forgot to sign up for the gym class, be right back!

Our days are filled with hundreds of thoughts and things to do. Make lists, write out things you want to get done today, this week, this month. When you do something from the list don’t just check it off take a pen and make a thick line through it. Its really done, don’t think about it, move on. And boy does it feel good. 

Here is important thing number 1, be flexible. Sometimes things happen around you that you can’t control. Yes as silly as that sounds to some of you Type A people, go with the flow. Maybe I find it easier to do because I’m a Pisces, we morph and change with the environment. 

Important thing number 2, don’t wait, life goes on without you, people move on, things happen and if you just keep going through your mundane life without goals, without dreams, without motivation to try new things, eat new foods, meet new people, your stagnation will lead to illness and an early demise. 

Important thing number 3, laugh. A sense of humor about yourself and others can sure make life a lot more bearable especially through the tough times. There is definitely laughing space in my life.

Important thing number 4, love. Find someone to share your thoughts, dreams, life with. Find someone who truly loves you because you are who you are. The goofy, smart, sensitive, beautiful person they see in their eyes when they look at you. They want to be with you.

Life is simple, we make it complicated. Each day I truly live, laugh and love for my body, mind and soul. 

The Art of Dying

As a child I always thought of my parents as so old. Not just mine, but all parents were old to me. I thought I was very lucky though because I had two parents, some kids I went to school with weren’t so lucky I thought, they only have 1 parent. Each year I looked forward to my birthday, anxious to grow up become a teen, then graduate from high school. Work, university, marriage, babies, travel, whatever the next years bring, I didn’t really think too much about my parents aging.

If your parents are fairly healthy, you don’t think about them dying. I remember my grandmother dying, she was really old, 94 years to be exact. She was also overweight and had many health concerns. I was thankful then my parents were active, fairly healthy and somehow not that old to me.

However over the years, I came to terms with my parents becoming less active, less healthy and older. With age came, heart attacks, angioplasty, stents and joint replacement surgery.

With age also came, many miles of travel throughout the US and Canada. Many beautiful and memorable moments with grandchildren, many more laughs, big family get togethers that were loud and crazy. And at each one, my dad always blessed the meal and thanked the lord that we were all here together one more time.

Nine years ago my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Nine years of borrowed time as my brother put it. My mom was always a fighter, never believing in medical intervention, never doubting that when it was her time to go, it was her time to go, end of story. This was truly the first time my mom and dad talked openly about dying. They went and purchased all their funeral arrangements so not to burden the children. They let each of us know of their wishes and had their wills re-written. Death isn't something I wanted to dwell on, but looking back these conversations were important and part of my aging parents reality. Looking back I'm glad my parents and I had an open, honest chat about life and death.

Last Tuesday at 86 yrs old, my mom was taken by ambulance to the hospital, after 4 days of not keeping food in her stomach. For my mom to agree to go to a hospital, you know she wasn’t well. I looked at my mom and saw for the first time a tired, old women. Even though her body was giving out, my mom managed to joke around with medical staff and spoke philosophically about life and death. Friday was the family meeting with the doc to tell us how bad the cancer had spread and asked my mom what her wishes were.

She decided on a dnr on her chart, no interventions except for pain and chatted with me about all the things she has accomplished in life. She has accepted her fate gracefully and now it is our turn to do the same. Life is about living it to the fullest, being happy with the path you choose, staying healthy and accepting when the two ends of the spectrum meet to complete the circle of life.

Now we wait, sharing stories, laughing, crying and comforting each other as my mom prepares herself for the next phase of her journey and I prepare as well. I have longevity in my genes, so I will do everything I can to stay healthy until I become an old, tired women and my daughter and I will have many chats about life and death.

We can't prevent death. We can't prevent aging from occurring but we can slow the process. I will exercise, eat nutrient dense meals, reduce stress, sleep well and live life to the fullest. I want to live til I'm 86 (at least) and be healthy in body, mind and soul. 

Its Not Always About Physical Health

I read Psychology Today magazine religiously, it seriously is like a bible to me. My husband Neil is taking his masters degree and one of his courses was on eating disorders. He was reading an article in PT and when finished popped the magazine in the recycling bin. It was garbage day and I was taking the trash out and noticed the bright front cover of PT so I picked it out of the recycling bin.

The article Neil read was on behavior change. Not only did I read that article I read every one in that issue and continue to read PT on a regular basis. The latest article I read that resonated with me was on Relational Values and its importance for our mental health.

There is so much written by so many people on what we should do to keep our bodies physically fit, to prevent disease, to live longer, to live healthier from a physical perspective. But there is not a lot written by many people on the emotional/mental aspect of health.

Many people know they lack self confidence, self esteem, feel anger, depressed etc. but  they many not know why they feel that way or how to get themselves out of feeling that way. So their mental health is one of the spokes not lined up in the wheel of life. (I love riding and every time I see a balanced wheel spin - it is my analogy for a healthy life). We all know how important relationships are to our mental health and the PT article explained how the value we place on these relationships correlates to positive mental health.

The article in PT goes on to talk about the importance of relationships in ones life and of a concept called relational value. This is the value we self impose on the relationship with important people in our lives. If we don’t feel we have any relationships or we don’t value those relationships we have a huge void in becoming a healthy human.

Humans are social creatures. I live in Winnipeg where per capita we have more restaurants then anywhere in Canada. We socialize in places like coffee shops, restaurants etc. Look at the social media revolution. It is easier to link up with people all over the world than ever before. We wouldn’t think anyone would have a problem finding a relationship.

But its not just finding people to socialize with its about the value you place on that relationship. Its about the feelings you and the other person express, the thoughtfulness, sacrifices made, etc show the value that is placed on that relationship. It  is also about how we respond to changes in a relational value. 

The PT article tells how a positive change sparks happiness, pride, love, joy etc and how a negative change may spark hurt, anger, resentment etc. It is how we learn, grow and move forward in our relational changes that helps create who we are. But it is how we value ourselves that is of huge importance. We need the balance between self focused and community focused to be healthy. Our self confidence, self reliance, achievement, power balanced with giving, loving, compassion, self sacrifice will bring about healthy relationships.

Sometimes people know they lack relationship value but don’t know what to do about it and sometimes people deny, or put up a wall that doesn’t allow them to have relationships and doesn’t allow others in that may see the relationship with you as value.

The author Gregg Henriques, Ph.D. of the PT article goes on to say he believes the “high paced, economically driven, highly complex society, we have inadvertently created a society that has many, many cracks for people to fall through. People who feel devalued and who don’t know how to change and who don’t know what to do with their feelings that result”. 

Dr. Henriques goes on to ask whether as a society we should be looking at ways to measure relational value. 

Perhaps we need to work toward developing a society that utilizes relational value to increase positive mental health. As someone who works at keeping all the spokes balanced in my wheel of life I know the importance of relationships and the value I place on them has such a positive impact on my body, mind and soul.

                                      

I AM AN OLYMPIAN!!!!

Okay those who really know me, know that I am not an athlete that actually competed at the 2012 London Games. However, lets think about this carefully, is 2016 out of the question? Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro! How cool would that be!  

I just watched Clara Hughes compete in road cycling at age 39! There is a member of the Canadian women’s rowing team who is 53!!! Okay she doesn’t actually row but sits in the bow and barks out the tempo and hey I’m between 39 and 53 soooo maybe?

My point is age has only a part to do with your chances of being on an Olympic team. Your will power, skill and bodies ability to endure plays a role. Of course there are some sports that younger athletes do better in, so I just have to choose my sport wisely! 

Archery for example in London 2012, Karen Hultzer (RSA) was the oldest woman on the archery field at 46. Remarkably, she had never picked up a bow before five years ago. I tried it once in high school and liked it, although the bow string hit my forearm and left a welt as big as a softball and I couldn’t hit the target.

What about fencing? I think it looks cool, the shiny armour dress and headgear and those gloves, oooh I’m all over that! I’ve never actually poked a sabre at anyone, but practiced with broom sticks jousting with my daughter Sarah. One of us usually got smacked on the hand and then ended up tickling the other into submission. I guess tickling your fencing opponent might be frowned on? Just a guess but not sure the Queen would approve, all that giggling would send her into a tizzy. 

There is shooting then. I shot a gun once in Piney Manitoba at the gravel pit. My dad and uncle would line up old cans and bottles and we tried to shoot them off a fence post. I can’t remember actually hitting a target and I think I hurt my shoulder once.  Hmmmm this is getting harder. 

What about horse jumping? Ian Miller on team Canada is 65 years old and competed in London 2012.  I like horses and I rode a few times, never fell off either. Not sure I want my horse to jump while I’m on its back. Yeah I think I just dropped horse jumping from my list and I’m way too young!

Is knitting, crocheting, basket weaving or bracelet making (I only use those small plastic beads that my nieces share with me) Olympic events yet! 

Alright maybe Olympic blogging, tweeting or messaging athletes IS the way to go. 

Wow, all those sports I played in high school. Basketball, softball, volleyball, soccer, even women’s ice hockey when women’s ice hockey wasn’t cool yet! I was super athletic growing up. Tennis, badminton, golf, curling (a lot of curling- on ice and off, poker straight hair) just to name a few. Played field hockey in university for one term, but that ball was sooo hard and those sticks whacking against my legs—oooh that hurt!

And come on I lift weights, do TRX, crossfit, road ride, trail ride, toss a basketball now and again, swat at a birdie when I can find someone to play with, fling a frissbe err I mean disk, and throw a football.  All athletic feats in my mind! 

So I guess that’s it, I missed my opportunity to participate in the Olympics. So at 49 calendar years (even though my mind is telling me I’m only 29 yrs), I’ll stick to my own Olympic prowess and my own gold medal standings!  My own competitions and pushing myself to my limits. That is my personal growth for awakening my body, my mind and my soul! I am an Olympian!

And you, be the best athlete you can be! Get back on track no matter what sport you play, no matter what your athleticism level, you know- “Play Safe and Have Fun”, it is the participation that matters.  “Just Do It” stop talking about starting an exercise program, And .....“Go”! 

My Brother My Hero

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero- Marc Brown

Some of you may have read on Facebook or Twitter that my sister got married on July 14, 2012. This was my younger sister, the baby of the siblings I might add. Even though this was her second marriage, the excitement for her special day and love we have for her brought my whole family together. 

Whole family you wonder, yes all seven of us. My parents who are in their eighties and my four siblings. Well of course my little sister was there, she was the bride. So me, the bride and my three other siblings all together again. As we all get older, my little sister being forty six, making the rest of us barely hanging on to our forties and into our fifties, we realize it is harder and harder to be all together. The fact that my older sister Barb lives on the West Coast and my brother Larry lives in Calgary makes the getting together for family dinners a bit harder. And using skype on the IPad and placing it on their place setting at the table just isn’t quite the same. Punching my IPad hurts a bit more than punching my brothers arm and giving a hug to my IPad just isn’t the same as hugging my big sisters soft skin.

So whole family time (not even including kids) comes by few and far between, so we make the most of it when we are together. So when my sister announced her wedding I knew there was a good chance my siblings and I would be together to celebrate.

The wedding day came and went without a hitch, well there were a few minor hiccups, but what event doesn’t have a few. Besides no animals were hurt during the production so all was good! Unless you count the actual dinner then yes, some animals did sacrifice for the carnivors in attendance. Me being one, yes I love my meat!

The bride looked radiant, the groom had a glossed over look in his eyes, the ceremony was lovely, the meal was delicious, the entertainment (Free Ride) was fun, cousins reconnected and my siblings and parents were together again.

Of course like all weddings, we stayed up too late, hollered too much, danced til our feet hurt and perhaps enjoyed the free bar a little too much! I’m just guessing on the last one, but when I saw my oldest brother Richard wearing a t-shirt the next day, that said “Rum Pig” I kinda thought that may be the case.

The next day, oh that will be the day we remember more so perhaps than the wedding itself. The Sunday after, my little sister bless her heart, planned a gift opening, entertaining day. So with about thirty five people in her big beautiful house in La Salle, pizza, chicken, salads and taco chips abundantly being consumed, with Elvis – yes I said Elvis just starting his first set, everyone was enjoying yet another family filled day.

My dad after filling a plate with food walked into the living room and placed himself beside a fellow he’d just met, but both were discussing how good the Elvis impersonator was. It was at that point my dad lost his sense of wear he was standing, took a step back onto what he thought was floor, however he stepped backward over the stairs with no flooring to put his foot on. I was in the family room farthest away, while my brother Larry stood across from me in the large open kitchen area. 

I saw my brother move quickly to the living room but from where I was the room was out of view. Suddenly the music stopped and I heard “someone just fell down the stairs”. Without hesitation and  now thinking about my brothers sudden dash, the thought of my mother (because of her lack of mobility) laying at the bottom of the stairs came to mind.

Shocked I was to see my father laying helpless, not breathing and my brother Larry doing a finger sweep of pizza and false teeth. It was amazing to me to see how calm Larry was. He knew exactly what needed to be done to clear my dad’s airway and once opened, rolled my dad onto his side in the recovery position. An ambulance was called and dad taken to hospital for xrays, ct scan and a three day stay. 

Dad has no broken bones, but a bruised back and tailbone to go along with his bruised ego. My brother Larry saved my dads life by his quick actions, truly being a hero. Larry is an unassuming guy, that goes through life doing what needs to be done. 

Larry has had a few high level strategic positions in the telecommunications and oil and gas industry. But it was his last position with a start up company that let him go, “to take the company in another direction” that hit him the hardest. He gave his heart and soul.

He bides his time these days, doing a lot of house work (while my sil works) and a lot of fly fishing. He found his true love and passion, creating his own flies, teaching kids about fly fishing and being on the streams for hours, to see which of his homemade flies work the best.

His patience, love for the outdoors, his experience of the hellish corporate boardrooms, and his new found passion, have shaped him into the man he is today. Oh and the fact he saved a mans life!  I think he should definitely write a book as he surely has a story to tell from boardrooms to fly fishing! To saving his own dads life. 

I aspire to be half the human being my brother is, my brother, my hero! Oh he doesn’t know it yet, but my sister Barb and I have already titled his book, “Hooked”.  He just has to write it and I can’t wait until he does. My whole family will be first in line for our copies. His journey will no doubt touch all of us and bring growth to everyone’s body, mind and soul!

Just remember Larry, dad is eighty one this year and mom is eighty six, so take a pen and paper along on your next fishing trip! 

Take Action - Exercise!

The other day I followed up with one of my clients. I asked how her last week was, how often she got to the gym and how often she followed the exercise plan I set out for her.

Well her answer really didn’t surprise me. She commented, she just doesn’t have enough time in the week. Aaaack I feel like banging my head against the wall sometimes when clients who have come to me to loose weight, feel healthy and get fit, don’t walk the talk. She said getting healthy is a priority but she isn't making the action a priority.

Oh yeah, lots of people are at the stage where they know they need to take charge and make changes, they verbalize all the right things. Its just the action phase they can’t perform, yet they know no one else can make the changes for them. They’ve fallen off track and can’t find their internal voice or haven’t looked deep enough to find the internal voice. 

Part of the problem is their diet is poor and lacks the proper nutrients to help energize their body. Part of the problem is that exercise has not become part of their lifestyle. Exercise is something you do to loose a bit of weight, fix a problem with a muscle or joint according to them.

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Exercise and healthy eating MUST become part of a lifestyle, part of your routine. Just like brushing your teeth, putting on cloths, doing laundry, eating, etc, we do sooooo many other things automatically why isn’t exercising one of them? Lots of those other behaviours we do infinitely. People need to understand exercise is an infinite behaviour. It is vital to living a long life and a healthy, strong long life.  And who doesn't want that. 

So one of the tools I like to use is a calendar. A visual to place on the fridge right beside the kids schedule of activities. Its YOUR calendar of activities. I don’t know about you but I can’t remember nor do I want to try and remember all the things I have planned. So I use a calendar! Schedule your workouts, just like everything else. And ya there will be times when self talk that you don’t feel like working out. But thats when the true you needs to step up to the plate because you know how good you’ve been feeling since getting back on track with a healthy lifestyle. How much more confidence and happy you are. You are proud of the accomplishments and personal growth you’ve done.

You know exercising and healthy eating is a life long positive habit. Don’t talk about starting, just do it now. Change your lifestyle, no beginning, middle or end. It’s an infinite way of life. If you don't know how to get started talk to a personal trainer, a friend who exercise regularly, family member who will support you.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
– Mark Twain

I’m 49 years old, stronger and more fit and healthier than I’ve ever been. I've been on the unhealthy, overweight side. I know how much work you need to do, to face fears, to struggle to learn to love who you are. Age has nothing to do with your abilities. Always challenge and always grow. This is a lifestyle, change yours and I guarantee you will never look back! Awaken your body, mind and soul!

Shakespeare's Question?

To Be or Not to Be…..

One of my recent lessons learned is that events happen all the time, all around us and how we react to those events is what makes us happy or unhappy. Why would we want to be unhappy? I don’t think anyone, prefers to be unhappy, or chooses to be unhappy on purpose.

So why then do we react to things/situations/events in such a way that makes us unhappy? Someone once asked me, why do you react in such a negative way to circumstances? How does that make you feel? How does that make the people you are with feel? Yikes, I hadn’t thought about it and that was one of my big lessons. Wake up and be aware of your thoughts. 

How I react to things is my choice. If I approach life (each and every event) with an open loving heart, I feel happy and the people I am around also feel happy. So why aren’t we ALL happy ALL the time? Why aren’t we living in a euphoric, Yoko and John love the world way.

Well we can, we all can if we choose to. However most often we let the events of the external world dictate how we will feel. We listen to our egotistical mind and allow those thoughts to be what we react to. In his book, “The Untethered Soul The Journey Beyond Yourself”, Michael A. Singer suggests once you decide you want to be unconditionally happy, something inevitably will happen that challenges you. It is this test of your commitment to being happy that is exactly what stimulates an awaking within and true growth. 

We know a million things are going to happen to you or you will be a part of in your life. The real question is what are you going to think when these things happen? They are just things/events. Good, bad, ugly we categorize them. Be happy that you have experienced them. Don’t listen to your ego thoughts and create drama, sadness, hurt to yourself or others. Realize you are the observer of those thoughts and let them go. Don’t hold onto them, they will only make you suffer. 

Commit to being happy and you will learn all about your mind, your heart, and your soul. Every time you start to feel unhappy, let it go, keep your heart open and if you do you will experience life at a different level. So it really is a simple choice; 

Do you want to be happy or not?

There Is No Key To Happiness, The Door Is Always Open By J. Johnson, picture courtesy of therocketdream May 5, 2012

 There is no key to happiness, the door is always open. 

Many of us throughout the world are on our own journey's toward peace, fulfillment, and most of all happiness, even though we know that engaging on this journey is a commitment for the rest of our lifetime. On this road to happiness and fulfillment a person must be able to realize and accept a variety of things. One of these things is that a person must realize who they are, and that true happiness will only be achieved if they are willing to be themselves and not who others may want them to be.